My past 3 years have mostly been about the same guy. I told u about him in my 2nd blog. He is the Jerk guy. I admit, i have a thing for jerks, i have a smart mouth and can be difficult at times, therefore i need a guy who can be the same and who can keep up with me. So i met this guy who was a jerk like me, lol…well turns out he was a bigger jerk.

I met him my freshman year in college and at first i thought, he is soooo not my type, he is too short. I dont do short guys. But he ended up pursuing me, andit kinda turned me on that he went out of his way to find me, and to talk to me. So i gave him a chance and we started talking. He took me for ice cream and we chilled at his house. But we didnthang out much cause he would do things like……..tell me we were going out, then stand me up. It got so bad that, i would get dressed and be sitting on my bed, my roomate would leave the room and come back 2 hours later and she would automatically ask, u must be going out with “The Jerk”??? And it never failed, he mostly always stood me up, but i guess i just liked a challenge, or someone who wasnt crazy about me. Because i continued to allow him to treat me like this. We argued about his actions constantly, but in the end we always ended up talking again.

We had sooo many on and off periods, But through all of it, i never once “cheated” if u know what i mean on him. I was sooooo in love with his jerk ass…..I let him get away with murder and made excuses for him. It was horrible. I even got to a point where i felt like we were secret lovers. Like we didnt really speak or talk in public. But after a while i kinda felt like he thought i wasnt good enough to be seen with him or to be known as his chick. He actually made me feel bad about myself(and some people will tell u that i am one of the most conceited people ever, lol, i mean imnot like dammnn, but im super cute ya know, i get plenty of guys). Anyway on one of our off periods he started hanging with this other chick, and i would see them together at events on campus and even at clubs, so that really blew me away. Like wow, u can be with her and not me???? Thats some straight bull

When i tell u i have cried over this man toooo many times to count and sooo many times i have told him to lose my number, never call me again, this is ur last chance and dont talk to me ever. But after every time he would come back with his smooth talking and apologies and snatch me right back up.

So here is the thing, I have been told i date like a guy, moving from one guy to the next quickly, but im really the type of chick who wants that one guy. It just has to be THAT guy and not just any guy. So with The Jerk i went from wanting a relationship with him, to just wanting to talk exclusively, to just wanting to talk, to just wanting to be with him. He has made me downgrade my values and principles so much that i started to take anything he was giving out. Another rule i had was, i would NEVER talk to a guy with a baby, but my sophomoreyear he found out he had a 3 month old daughter, and me being the chick that was sooooo in love with him, decided i didnt care. Can u believe that? I continued to talk to this dude when he found out he had a kid, thats not the Me that i know….lol

And of course every so often he would come to me with this im ready to settle down and i want it to be with u bulls***. I would accept him back then all of a sudden the settle down went out the window. His latest B.S. run was this summer. I wasnt at school for the summer, i went home andhe messaged me on some, “What would u do if i asked u to be my girlfriendright now??” I was dumbfounded, i even packed my things up and came back to school for the weekend to talk about it face to face. I planned to see him all weekend(while staying at a friends house) and over course same ol JERK as always, he blew me off for 85% of the trip. I saw him one day and when i tell u we had the best talk ever. About us and the future and where we would go. I asked him questions i had needed to get off my chest for 3 years now.

He answered them all, whole heartedly. He said i WAS his type(contrary to my belief that i wasnt), and i interested him, and he could see himself being with me, basically all the things i wanted to hear. I spent the night andexpected to spend the day….but the next morning he got up at 8 o clock and started getting ready. I was soooo confused, he said he had to run some errands…..I was like r u crazy??? do u know i drove 4 hours to see u??? and do u know what this mans answer was????????

he said,” U came to see me, but i cant just lay in the bed with u all day. i got more important things to do”…………………………………………………………………wow…………………………………..thats all i could think. I didnt even get mad, how could i? After 3 years i knew how his stupid self was and he wasnt going to change over night….so….i said goodbye(in the nicest way ever) and i left. I ended up coming back to town, cause home wasnt cutting it. And we ended up chilling and talking and going over things we had done wrong and what needed to change. He said he wanted a gf type of relationship but still with no title. Me still being dumb in love said okay….

But where he crossed the line was when he said he wanted to continue to talk to others…..wat i look like? dumb…well, dont answer that, lol…but no i wasnt going for that. So i gave him an ultimatum, ”I love u and want to be with u, s0 either u be in a relationship with me or u be without me. Im walking and when i leave i dont expect to EVER come back”……this time there would be no, wait 2 months then swoop back in my life….some guys were just not meant to be tied down, and i was no longer going to try to tie him down. So i left, and im happy about my decision. Its the smartest thing i have done since i met him in the student center freshman year.

He is the type of guy who gets to u, so that u will never forget him. I will never forget him, we had some good times. But we had waaayyyy more bad times than good. So anytime i ever think of him, i think about the bad times and that makes me erase whatever message i was going to send. I dont need that kind of guy in my life…I like jerk but…….i dont like that much jerk….so he is officially in my past and should never be confused with being any type of future guy.