So lately i have been trying to really figure out what  want out of life right now. I have been going through sooo much. Whether is friends problems, job problems, apartment problems. Ive been dealing with a lot. But you know me, in the midst of it all, i still have to have my Team(guys i talk to) lol

Lets see right now im down to like 3 guys… Pool Boy, Mr Mexican and Shrimpy.

Other than that i have had guys ive talked to this summer, one in particular who almost got ahold of my heart, thank God he didnt, cause it would be squashed right now. Because he ended up taking off, without telling me what happened at all, and started back talking to a chick from his past(who i am half cool with) smh

Anywho back to the present guys….

Pool Guy: Ive known him since freshman year…and he has flirte with me since day one. But since he is a flirt i never take him seriously. But within the last year he has been trying to show me that he is for real about me. But my problem is, i dont know if i am for real about him. Sometimes i let him take me out, or hang out with him(we always have fun). I think he is really cute, i like the way he dresses, he treats me well. But *sigh* its something that keeps me from giving him my all. Maybe because there is no chase. I have no clue, but i do like him, but i also cant stand things about him. Like how he eats….or how overly freaky he is. I always say, if the feelings r there they r there, if they arent then i cant force them. But im not gonna count him out. We will see.

Okay so the dilemma of the moment is lets call him Mr Mexican: Me and Mr Mexican have been talking on and off for about 4 or 5 months. The first time we started talking it was great, we went out on dates, i met his friends, we chilled, and just all around had a good time with eachother. I started to really like him and thought i could see myself in a relationship with him. But all of sudden he got ghost, stopped contacting me all together. I was so confused, because i felt like everything was going well, no problems. But anyway, i can take a hint. I left him alone and moved on, but while i was talking to the Twitter guy he tried to come back in the picture and tell me i needed to stop playing. Then he started to ask to see me alot but i always blew him off, so he kinda backed off. But then when i stopped talking to Twitter i realized that Mr Mexican was the guy…i really liked him…he has alot of the qualities in a guy, and i dont think i can name one thing he does that gets on my nerves, well maybe his textng etiquette, but thats it. Everything else i like, i actually told him this. I told him to his face that he was exactly my type, to the T. I told him this the other night, we actually had a really nice convo, wake up the next day, leave and i havent really heard from him since then. SMH

       The thing is im so confused and TORN(currently listening to Letoya Luckett)!!! I have always said if i ever found a guy who treated me the way the Jerk did, then i wanted nothing to do with him. But the thing is, my feelings and emotions r already invested in this situation. I want to leave so bad and never look back, but its better said than done. I dont wanna let go just yet, i want him to realize that im right for him and that he should be with me. ugghhhh I should have done a whole blog for solely him…lol smh.

      He doesnt do anything serious, only things like go days without talking to me, or not texting back when i text him. But i have told him numerous times, i DONT like that. If we r talking, then i want to talk. If i go more than 3 days without talking to u, i consider u a person of the past. But he does this often and claims this is just who he is as a person, okay F ALL THAT!!! i dont condone lol…..anywho i have no CLUE what to do. I really like him, we havent even had sex yet. lol…*sigh*